I have never been a gambler and have never had an interest in buying a lottery ticket. Even though Powerball & Mega Millions are only $ 2, it has always seemed like a waste of $ 2. They definitely have a pretty good marketing phrase ” you can’t win if you don’t play ” and that is absolutely true. Sadly, you can’t win if you do play is also true to the tune of  1 in 300,000,000 might win.

About a year ago, I decided I might buy a ticket when the pot was at least $1,000,000,000 . Clearly, it would not be worth my time, effort or $2 to try to win a paltry $50,000,000 or even $500,000,000 – that’s chump change. In the last  year or so the pot has gone over $1 B a few times and in one case (not that long ago) over $2 B
(for accuracy – the stated amount is if you take your winnings over time with incremental payments. For a lump sum payment, the amount is less than half and you have to pay taxes on your winnings. So, a stated $1 B pot would be closer to a lump sum payment of $450,000,000 and then taking out fed, state, and local taxes might leave the winner netting $225,000,000 – $270,000,000  depending on the state and local taxes)

A couple weeks back, the mega millions jackpot jumped to aprox $1,200,000,000.00, so clearly, I decided to be a player. I put a crowbar in my wallet and I broke out $4 (because I wanted to double my chances of winning).
Then suddenly, the emotional rollercoaster began. From the time I first bought the tickets until the drawing, my mind was running a mile a minute.  My first thoughts were wondering how my winnings would change my life. Then I started to think about what I would buy and what was important to me. Then I wondered if I would tell anyone or keep my winning a secret. That led to my  concern about my security and the security of family. Then I realized, I had no idea where to put the money. Banks are only federally insured for $250,000.00 Would I need hundreds of banks and bank accounts? Then I went back to security.. would I need to beef up my home security? Would I need to hire security? Then I started to think about how much I loved performing and would I still want to do shows? Then I wondered if I would still want to live in Louisiana or would it be better to move. My mind was racing so much, that even as an accomplished hypnotist, I found it hard to sleep.

Finally, the day of the drawing was finally upon me, and all my optimism seemed to fade. I focused only on the likelihood of winning which was less than 1 in 300,000,000. I started thinking about each of the balls, as the machine spit them out had to match my tickets exactly. My exuberance led to a realistic view, which gave way to out and out pessimism.

Finally, the drawing began…. I didn’t match the first number ( so immediately the grand prize was no longer possible ), the next number – no match, then the next – no match and so on. They finally got to the last and final ball – NOPE, no match.
I actually matched exactly NO NUMBERS. By the time it was all done, I had reverted back to my original view. I’m not a gambler, not even the lottery. Even though it’s only $2, it’s still a waste of $2.
Stupid lottery ! Only chumps play ! I’m not getting suckered into playing !

(Shhhhh, Powerball is already up to $220,000,000. if nobody wins tonight, and they go a few more drawings with no winner, the jackpot might reach over $1 B and even if that happens, there is no chance I’m going to be fool enough to play ……. or will I ? )