As I’m trying to build my website, being completely non-technical, I have run into some problems and needed to get some answers. One of the reasons I eventually settled on the web hosting company is they have 24 hour phone support. Yesterday I call up Hostgator, and get the stupid computer answering menu….
Computer : Thank you for calling Hostgator, you can speak in complete sentences and I can understand what you say.
Me: Tech Support
Computer : OK, billing. I will transfer your call

A guy comes on the phone and introduces himself.

Me: I asked for Tech Support
Guy : I can help you
Me : Ok, the SSL is working on PCs, but not on Macs. I need the SSL to work on all computers and all browsers.
Guy: Oh, I can’t help you with that, I will need to get you to tech support
Me : You just said you could help when I told you I asked for Tech support.
Guy : I was hoping your question would be about something I could help you with.
Me : I’ve got a question, before we do anything else. The computer told me it can understand
complete sentences, and then asked me what I needed. I said tech support! The computer said
I will connect you to billing. Why did that happen?
Guy : You’re considered a high risk customer
Me : What the hell does that mean?
Guy : Since you’re a new customer, you’re considered high risk of cancelling your account and taking
your business to another hosting company.
Me : You’re telling me, you think the computer telling me it understands complete sentences, then
completely ignores my request, sending me to you. Then you telling me you can help, except you
really can’t help because you’re not actually in tech support and don’t know tech solutions is all
due to your company worrying about me taking my business elsewhere? And to make things more
laughable, this is Hostgator’s solution for keep a new customer happy?!?!
Guy : Well, when you put it that way, it does seem like a problem.

We talked a bit more and he eventually did get me to tech support. Thankfully the tech guy was able to
solve my problem fairly easily.

I’m a high risk customer (at risk of leaving) – solution: Waste my time and piss me off
BRILLIANT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL